I want to catch you up

I know it has been quite a while since I last wrote. I thought this was a good time to get everyone caught up on things.

I had my last infusion of solu-medrol today. It is that steroid that I have been taking once a month by IV at a hospital out-patient. It was given to me because I have been having difficulty again walking any distance or for any length of time. I do have a problem with foot drop. It is my right foot and what this means is when my legs get tired, I start having a problem keeping that foot picked up when I walked. I have a tendency to catch it on things and it doesn't have to be going over a bump. I can stumble even on carpet or bare floor. I was given a brace to wear on the right foot to keep that foot up when I walk. When I wear it, I can go farther and it almost gives me the feeling of walking normal again. The problem I do have is that I can't wear it to drive so I can either wear it, then take it off to drive, and then put it back on when I get to my destination. The brace isn't hard to put on and off - its just a drag to do it.

With this change in my status, it has brought depression. I have always had depression but have handled it. This is just upsetting that the MS has reared its head again and I am having problems once again. Dad and I aren't talking too much about it. We are both aware. We are both upset about it but there isn't much we can do about it. He doesn't feel the shots I have had have done any good. I am still the same. I do have to agree. The last time this happened, I had to be on the steroid for three years before I came off of it. I wonder if I have to do it again or is there something else. Do I just have to accept and hope it goes back into remission soon? This is what I am dealing with and why my emotions are up and down. I can be short tempered and abrupt, unfocused, and not remembering things said. I guess you can see why the depression. Trying to stay in control of oneself takes a lot of effort.

I know when we have visited, I find myself by myself a lot. I am not sure if that is my fault but I apologize if I have given off any reason for you to stay away. I do find the grandchildren not being near me as much but with Dad. I also know I can't do as much either so that is hard. I really feel bad about that as we don't visit too often and I would like to spend time with everyone.

I don't mean to bring everyone down. I just wanted to give you an idea of what has been really going on since about April. It looks like it may continue to go for some time. So just please understand.

Dad has been flying quite a bit. Not real long trips but he has flown to San Francisco and Salt Lake City, Utah. We are still waiting on the decision on Denver. The VA Hospital is still up in the air as to who will be building it. The VA has been asking for more and more information from the contractors. The latest time frame is the end of June. This whole process started believe or not in January. Talk about patience.

The latest on Dad's retirement: January 1, 2013. He decided the date. He will be 62 at this point and he wants to stop. Stayed tuned to this one. He does say he is going to do it. Where are we going to land? That is the big question. Very undecided!

Well, I guess that is about all for now. I will probably be up the rest of the night. This is what happens with this drug. It gives you energy and keeps you awake. Take care everyone. Love to all.