Monday, October 15, 2012

October 22, 2012

October 22, 2012, is a Monday, time 3:30 p.m., I will meet with the surgeon.  I hope I will be able to get some answers to the thyroid problem.

I have so many questions about what will happen next.  I am sure a biopsy will be done.  I have a greater chance that it will be benign then cancer.  I still know, from what I have read, that the mass will need to be removed and along with it part of the thyroid.   Just how much will be determined once the thyroid is exposed.

These are all things that I have read and partly been told by the Endocrinologist.  I also was told that this surgeon, Dr. Stanley Wilson, is conservative in his approach in regards to surgery.

Is this on my mind?  You betcha! Are we talking about it much?  Not really as there are so many unknowns.

Dad/Sam has other things to concentrate on right now.  He has a bid at the end of October.  He is flying to California, today, October 15.  He will be there until Saturday and fly back to South Carolina, to be here for the appointment on October 22.  Whatever is decided at the appointment, will determine whether he fly's back to California.  Right now, he has a flight back the next day, October 23.

I have a lot of people praying for me and for good results.  I know I will deal with whatever the outcome, as I am strong and have handled major problems in the past.

"It is what it is".  Can't change things so I just have to deal with it.  It is still scary about the unknown!  I am one that needs to know exactly what will happen, so I can organize it in my mind, research and learn more, have things in place.  I still will get nervous and anxious, but I will know more.

Now to wait until Monday

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Changes Part 2

I don't have great news to write about right now.  My thyroid mass grew from 3.4 cm to 3.7 cm.  I am being referred to a surgeon and I am awaiting his call to set up an appointment.  I really don't know what will happen or when.  It is so hard to wait for something to happen as you want that something to happen now.

They say patience is a virtue and I do have patience most of the time.  I can wait in a doctor's office for quite awhile when he is behind, as long as I know, I can deal with traffic, I can wait for that repairman.  I can get a chance to reschedule if necessary.  This other waiting, waiting for that phone call to continue on with a problem, is so difficult.  You can't reschedule something that might be wrong with you.

I don't know why my neurologist in California did not say something to me.  It wasn't his right to dismiss it.  I had the report and yes, it did say that I had a large mass, but I did not know that this was an issue that should have been checked.  What made the neurologist I have here, suggest for me to see someone?  Were they more aware of the necessity?  I really don't know the answer to the question.  I am angry though that I wasn't given the option to decide for myself in California.  What made that doctor decide that this was not something to look at or not to feel the need to even discuss it with me?

I know that is history or as I have said "water under the bridge".  I have to deal with the here and now.  So I wait!  I want to call so badly and get an appointment.  This surgeon may not have all the results yet or hasn't had time to review.  Why can't an appointment be made anyway?  Patience is a tough word for me right now.

I am trying to stay busy.  I have been typing up notes for Sam to take for his bid in California for a hospital. This is another issue, Sam wanting to fly to California for this bid and staying until the end of the month of October.  He wanted to leave this week, but changed and stayed an extra week.  He really needs to leave next Monday and will be there until November 1.  I would like to go but things are so much up in the air.

Life has thrown a curve ball.  How do you deal with the uncertainty?  I guess you have to trust in God, your friends support, and to keep reminding yourself that you are strong and you will get through it.

It is still hard to wait....